One Wild Ride in My Mummy's Tummy
... or ... The Other Toe Day
Jan 9, 2002
ONE WILD RIDE IN MY MUMMY´S TUMMY ... OR ... THE OTHER TOE DAY a short play for children in one act by Peter Falkenberg Brown Copyright 2002 by Peter Falkenberg Brown http://peterfalkenbergbrown.com
CHARACTERS BOY ... A baby BOY, residing in his mummy´s tummy UNCLE RUDOLPHO ... Boy´s Great, Great, Great, Great Uncle, the Boy´s Travel Guide TUMMY ANGEL ... A small child angel, sent to keep Boy company GIRL ... A baby GIRL - the twin.
SETTING The interior of the mummy´s tummy. TIME Present day. SCENES ACT I Scene 1 Inside a Mummy´s tummy
Act 1 Scene 1 The set is the interior of mummy´s tummy. There is a small cot, a table, and 3 chairs. As the play opens, all is dark. We hear footsteps and a grunt, followed by the sound of a toy being knocked to the floor. UNCLE RUDOLPHO Dad gum it! How come it´s so dark in here? BOY Who´s that? UNCLE RUDOLPHO Where´s the dratted light? (We hear more clatter, and the sound of various things getting bumped into.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Ah! Here it is! (A light is switched on, and we see UNCLE RUDOLPHO standing with one knee on a chair, leaning over the table. BOY is sitting up on the small cot, looking at him.) BOY Who are you? (Uncle Rudolpho straightens up, and brushes himself off, and bows.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO I´m your Great, Great, Great, Great (is that four or five? .. oh, whatever) Uncle Rudolpho, world traveler, travel guide extraordinaire, man about town, the one who KNOWS whatever there is to know. BOY Oh. Gee. That´s a long name. UNCLE RUDOLPHO You can call me Uncle Bob then. BOY Uncle Bob? Is that short for Rudolpho? UNCLE RUDOLPHO No, it´s just short. (Uncle Rudolpho looks around at the clutter of toys, and grimaces.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO What a mess! Didn´t they send anybody to clean up? How come the light was off, anyway? BOY I didn´t know I had a light. I didn´t know I had anything, until yesterday, when I found my other toe. (Boy looks down at his feet, and lifts up one toe.) BOY This was getting all worn out - I was chewing on it so much. (He lifts up his other toe.) BOY Then I saw this other one. Wow. Was I surprised. It´s exactly the same. But fresher. (Uncle Rudolpho nods knowingly.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Aha! The Other Toe Day. I remember it quite well myself. That must be why my dear wife Valerina said it was time for me to come and visit. (He sighs.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO I just wish she hadn´t interrupted my bridge game. Oh well... I was losing, so no matter. (He claps his hands briskly, and eyes the room critically.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO It´s time to get things going here! (He strides to the wall, and vigorously yanks on a bell pull.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Hallo up there! Tummy Angel! Are you there! We need you down here. The joint´s a mess! TUMMY ANGEL (off stage) Coming! Coming right away! (The TUMMY ANGEL runs in from stage right, looking rather flustered. He´s carrying a large cookie in his hand, and is chewing, and trying to swallow.) TUMMY ANGEL Are you the Travel Guide? (Uncle Rudolpho bows again.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO That´s me! Uncle Rudolpho, at your service. And you are? TUMMY ANGEL I´m the new TUMMY ANGEL. Junior grade, I´m afraid. I´ll do my best, but this is my first case. Do you have any more cookies? (The Tummy Angel skips over to the cot and stares at Boy.) TUMMY ANGEL Hi! Oh, you´re a BOY. I thought it was going to be a GIRL. Do you have any cookies? I love cookies. Do you wanna play? We´re supposed to play a lot so you can get ready. (Boy stands up gingerly, and stretches. He walks around the room and looks at the chairs, and the table, and picks up a toy. He puts the toy down and tugs at Uncle Rudolpho´s sleeve.) BOY I feel really confused. What´s going on? What´s a cookie? (Uncle Rudolpho sits down, and pats the chair.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Come on boys. Sit down, and let Uncle Rudolpho tell you all about it. (Boy and the Tummy Angel sit and look at him expectantly.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO You´re a Boy. Did you know that? That´s why we call you BOY. At least until later. BOY No! Really? What´s a BOY? (Uncle Rudolpho sighs.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Oh, BOY, oh BOY. BOY Yes? UNCLE RUDOLPHO No, not you! Let´s start at the beginning. Do you know where you are? TUMMY ANGEL North Carolina? UNCLE RUDOLPHO Tummy Angel! Shush! (Uncle Rudolpho leans over, and takes Boy´s hand.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO There´s a big person, just like me, but she´s prettier (he looks at the audience) -- I have to say that you know -- and she´s your mummy. You can call her that. And you´ll never guess where you are! (Boy rubs his chin, and looks around, a bit worried.) BOY North Carolina? UNCLE RUDOLPHO No, no, no! You´re in your mummy´s tummy! BOY What´s a tummy? UNCLE RUDOLPHO Here! Just like mine! (Uncle Rudolpho pats his stomach.) BOY Really! No wonder it was so dark. TUMMY ANGEL We´re not in North Carolina? (Uncle Rudolpho glares at the Tummy Angel.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO (to the audience) At the moment, I think we´re on Route 95. (Suddenly, the three of them tip out of their chairs.) TUMMY ANGEL What was that? (Uncle Rudolpho strides to the screen and looks through a small telescope that is planted into the wall. The large end of the telescope is off stage.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Well, well, I was wrong. We´re not on Route 95 after all. I think that was Mummy and folks, getting out of their mini-van. They must be home early. BOY and TUMMY ANGEL (together) Let me see! (Boy and Tummy Angel and Uncle Rudolpho gather around the spyglass, jostling for space. Uncle Rudolpho firmly keeps control of the telescope, helping Boy and the Tummy Angel look through it. Uncle Rudolpho then takes a long look.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Oh no. Don´t do that, my good lady. (Uncle Rudolpho looks at the Tummy Angel.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Do you know what she´s doing? TUMMY ANGEL No, but I like her. She likes cookies, too. I saw her eat one. (Uncle Rudolpho, the Tummy Angel and Boy start to quiver and jerk spasmodically and stumble around the stage uncontrollably.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Why´d she have to go and do that! I hate it when they do that. TUMMY ANGEL What happened? BOY I think I´m going to be sick. UNCLE RUDOLPHO No! Don´t be sick! There´s no way to clean it up! TUMMY ANGEL What´s happening, Mr. Travel Guide? UNCLE RUDOLPHO I´m afraid, my good Tummy Angel, that the Boy´s mummy has indulged herself in a very large cup of Starbuck´s coffee. TUMMY ANGEL Oh, no! If she keeps that up, Boy will become a break dancer when he grows up! (Uncle Rudolpho and the Tummy Angel and Boy settle down on the bed, wiping their brows.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO My, oh my. How in the world will Boy get any sleep if his Mummy keeps drinking coffee! TUMMY ANGEL He´ll need a lotta sleep if he becomes a break dancer. BOY I´m confused. UNCLE RUDOLPHO Don´t worry, Boy. We´ll explain -- (Uncle Rudolpho, the Tummy Angel and Boy suddenly fall off the couch in a heap.) TUMMY ANGEL Eeeek!! (The three of them start to slide from left to right, with their arms flailing wildly. Uncle Rudolpho struggles to the telescope and looks out.) BOY What is it, Uncle Rudolpho? UNCLE RUDOLPHO That must have been one strong cup of coffee. Your mummy is doing aerobics! Uh, oh! Hold on! (His glasses askew, Uncle Rudolpho clutches his hat as the three of them stumble wildly.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO That was a pushup. BOY Is it going to be like this from now on? TUMMY ANGEL It´s those modern women, Boy. Your mummy´s a fitness fanatic. UNCLE RUDOLPHO In my day women were civilized. Exercise was strictly forbidden. TUMMY ANGEL They were too busy with their washboards to get washboard abs. BOY What´s a washboard? TUMMY ANGEL Boy oh BOY, we gotta teach you everything, don´t we? UNCLE RUDOLPHO Now, Tummy Angel. Be nice if you want to get any more cookies! (Uncle Rudolpho looks through the telescope.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Ah ha! Just as I thought! TUMMY ANGEL What is it? (Uncle Rudolpho motions them over to the telescope and they look through it.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Modern women are so predictable. After they exercise they always take a bath! I can´t imagine why. In my day we just used perfume. BOY What´s that wet stuff? TUMMY ANGEL That´s hot water. See the steam? Your mummy´s lying down in the tub. You can tell because her tummy´s too big to fit under the water. That´s why it´s getting hot in here. (Uncle Rudolpho wipes the sweat off his brow.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Hot is right! We should open a window. BOY Ooooh. What are those other things floating around? TUMMY ANGEL Let me see. Oh those are sea monsters. If you´re bad, they´ll eat you. (Uncle Rudolpho grabs the telescope and looks through it. He glares at the Tummy Angel.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Tummy Angel! What´s got into you! Those aren´t sea monsters! Those are rubber duckies! BOY Will they eat me? UNCLE RUDOLPHO No, no, no. They´re toys, to play with. Obviously, your mummy has had a stressful day at the office. By playing with rubber duckies she can get in touch with her inner child. BOY She´s coming for a visit? UNCLE RUDOLPHO No, no, no. She -- (Just then they hear a commotion from off stage. Boy jumps on the bed and pulls the blanket up to his chin.) BOY Is it Mummy? (Uncle Rudolpho and the Tummy Angel stare at each other.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO I don´t think it´s medically possible. TUMMY ANGEL It´s a sea monster. I just know it. (As the three of them stare in consternation, a hand, followed by an arm enters the room.) TUMMY ANGEL It´s an arm. (... and then, with a skip and a hop, the arm is followed by a little GIRL. She stops and looks at them, gravely, with her thumb in her mouth.) GIRL Is this Kansas? UNCLE RUDOLPHO Kansas? TUMMY ANGEL Kansas? BOY What´s a Kansas? UNCLE RUDOLPHO Why would you think you were in Kansas, my dear? GIRL Well, I was lying in my bed, examining my other toe that I just found today for the first time, and then all of a sudden everything moved around, and I fell off the bed, and then everything went up and down and then it started getting really hot and then I thought I had better open a window and then I found this door, and here I am. BOY What did she say? TUMMY ANGEL She said she´s not in Kansas anymore. (Uncle Rudolpho nods wisely and takes Girl´s hand. He leads her over to the cot where Boy is sitting and helps her sit down next to Boy.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Boy, you´ve got good news. BOY I do? UNCLE RUDOLPHO Yes, sirree. I´m proud to introduce you to your twin sister! (to Girl) Young lady, this is your twin brother! His name is Boy. TUMMY ANGEL Well, I never. Do you have any cookies? GIRL I don´t think so. (to Uncle Rudolpho) Do I have any cookies? UNCLE RUDOLPHO Not yet, my good GIRL. But you will. (Uncle Rudolpho stands and takes the Tummy Angel´s hand.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Well, Tummy Angel. It´s time for us to leave. We´ve done our duty and helped guide these delightful young people through the excitement of The Other Toe Day. They´ll be fine now. TUMMY ANGEL When we get back upstairs can I have a cookie? UNCLE RUDOLPHO You can have two. One for each of them. TUMMY ANGEL Goodie!!! (Uncle Rudolpho kisses Boy and Girl on the cheek.) UNCLE RUDOLPHO Well, good-bye then. Take care of each other. You must have a lot to talk about now. BOY and GIRL Yes sir! BOY (to Girl) So you have another toe, too? GIRL I sure do. You wanna see it? It´s really clean, and tastes pretty good. (Boy and Girl bend over, staring at their toes. They don´t notice as the light goes dim and Uncle Rudolpho and the Tummy Angel exit.) TUMMY ANGEL (o.s.) Mr. Travel Guide, are you sure they´ll be ok? UNCLE RUDOLPHO (o.s.) Most certainly, my good Tummy Angel. That is, until they discover they have eight little toes too. We wouldn´t want them to over-nibble, you know. TUMMY ANGEL (o.s.) No, that would be bad, wouldn´t it. Can I have a cookie now? UNCLE RUDOLPHO (o.s.) Tummy Angel! Whatever shall I do with you? (As the light goes dark, we hear peals of laughter from Uncle Rudolpho and the Tummy Angel.) Fade to black
Peter Falkenberg Brown is passionate about writing, publishing, public speaking and film. He hopes that someday he can live up to his favorite motto: “Expressing God’s kind and compassionate love in all directions, every second of every day, creates an infinitely expanding sphere of heart.”